A Bad Day at Work
文章來源:未知 文章作者:enread 發布時間:2016-08-23 08:06 字體: [ ]  進入論壇
Rob is a commercial saturation1 diver for Global Divers2 in Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore3 drilling rigs.
Below is an e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won:
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma4 with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all .
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.
This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel5 powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment that sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful6 temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now, this all sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.
What I do when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's fantastic...it's like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt7 started to itch8. So, of course, I scratched it. This, of course, only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bottom started to feel a burning sensation. I pulled the hose out from my back, thinking that maybe the water was too hot, but the damage was done.
In agony, I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it directly into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, so the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.
When I had scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish, and all of its poisonous, stinging tentacles9, into the crack of my bottom.
I immediately informed the dive supervisor10 of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically11.
Needless to say, I aborted12 the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing13 in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber14 dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass15 helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my bottom was swollen16 shut.
So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your bottom.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day.


1 saturation wCTzQ     
  • The company's sales are now close to saturation in many western countries.這家公司的產品銷售量在許多西方國家已接近飽和。
  • Road traffic has reached saturation point.公路交通已達到飽和點。
2 divers hu9z23     
  • He chose divers of them,who were asked to accompany him.他選擇他們當中的幾個人,要他們和他作伴。
  • Two divers work together while a standby diver remains on the surface.兩名潛水員協同工作,同時有一名候補潛水員留在水面上。
3 offshore FIux8     
  • A big program of oil exploration has begun offshore.一個大規模的石油勘探計劃正在近海展開。
  • A gentle current carried them slowly offshore.和緩的潮流慢慢地把他們帶離了海岸。
4 dilemma Vlzzf     
  • I am on the horns of a dilemma about the matter.這件事使我進退兩難。
  • He was thrown into a dilemma.他陷入困境。
5 diesel ql6zo     
  • We experimented with diesel engines to drive the pumps.我們試著用柴油機來帶動水泵。
  • My tractor operates on diesel oil.我的那臺拖拉機用柴油開動。
6 delightful 6xzxT     
  • We had a delightful time by the seashore last Sunday.上星期天我們在海濱玩得真痛快。
  • Peter played a delightful melody on his flute.彼得用笛子吹奏了一支歡快的曲子。
7 butt uSjyM     
  • The water butt catches the overflow from this pipe.大水桶盛接管子里流出的東西。
  • He was the butt of their jokes.他是他們的笑柄。
8 itch 9aczc     
  • Shylock has an itch for money.夏洛克渴望發財。
  • He had an itch on his back.他背部發癢。
9 tentacles de6ad1cd521db1ee7397e4ed9f18a212     
n.觸手( tentacle的名詞復數 );觸角;觸須;觸毛
  • Tentacles of fear closed around her body. 恐懼的陰影籠罩著她。
  • Many molluscs have tentacles. 很多軟體動物有觸角。 來自《簡明英漢詞典》
10 supervisor RrZwv     
  • Between you and me I think that new supervisor is a twit.我們私下說,我認為新來的主管人是一個傻瓜。
  • He said I was too flighty to be a good supervisor.他說我太輕浮不能成為一名好的管理員。
11 hysterically 5q7zmQ     
ad. 歇斯底里地
  • The children giggled hysterically. 孩子們歇斯底里地傻笑。
  • She sobbed hysterically, and her thin body was shaken. 她歇斯底里地抽泣著,她瘦弱的身體哭得直顫抖。
12 aborted dfb7069bfc6e0064a6c667626eca07b4     
adj.流產的,失敗的v.(使)流產( abort的過去式和過去分詞 );(使)(某事物)中止;(因故障等而)(使)(飛機、宇宙飛船、導彈等)中斷飛行;(使)(飛行任務等)中途失敗
  • The rocket flight had to be aborted because of difficulties with computer. 因電腦出故障,這次火箭飛行只好中輟。 來自《簡明英漢詞典》
  • They aborted the space flight finally. 他們最后中止了這次宇航飛行。 來自《簡明英漢詞典》
13 agonizing PzXzcC     
  • I spent days agonizing over whether to take the job or not. 我用了好些天苦苦思考是否接受這個工作。
  • his father's agonizing death 他父親極度痛苦的死
14 chamber wnky9     
  • For many,the dentist's surgery remains a torture chamber.對許多人來說,牙醫的治療室一直是間受刑室。
  • The chamber was ablaze with light.會議廳里燈火輝煌。
15 brass DWbzI     
  • Many of the workers play in the factory's brass band.許多工人都在工廠銅管樂隊中演奏。
  • Brass is formed by the fusion of copper and zinc.黃銅是通過銅和鋅的熔合而成的。
16 swollen DrcwL     
  • Her legs had got swollen from standing up all day.因為整天站著,她的雙腿已經腫了。
  • A mosquito had bitten her and her arm had swollen up.蚊子叮了她,她的手臂腫起來了。
TAG標簽: work job brother
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